Margaret V Aberdeen, a “human dynamo”, is an advocate for Domestic Violence and injustice to women. As someone who has broken free from Domestic Violence herself, she now empowers women to gain the strength and courage to Break Free from Domestic Violence™ and build a new life for themselves and their children. She has also made several international radio and television appearances, including for Radio 4, Choice FM, BBC One and Breakfast BEN TV (UK), Focus Radio and Spice Morning TV (Grenada, Caribbean). She is a member of Women’s Federation for World Peace (WFWP) and has received the Peace Ambassador Award for one of her speeches. Life - threatening cancer, domestic violence, the tragic loss of her baby and homelessness. Understanding that life is about learning, she has extracted something of value from each of these life’s challenges.
Please tell us what
is a typical business day for you?
I
am an early riser to the sweet melodies of Mother Nature. Each morning when I
open my eyes, I sit in silence before leaping out of bed; I feel reborn as I
embrace life and life embraces me. I meditate for twenty minutes, then take a
long deep breath, look upwards with my arms stretched outwards and with every
cell in my body absorbing gratitude as these affirmations mindlessly float out
of me: ‘Thank YOU for this new positive perfect day!’ ‘Thank YOU that all my
senses and limbs are in a perfect working order. As my feet touch the floor I
say, ‘Thank YOU!’
Write
my thoughts for two hours either in journal or book. Then check my emails and
response to who I choose to response too and not too. My day varies: sometimes I
usually structure speeches for an event, preparation for a workshop or coach a
client via telephone, Skype or one-to-one. Tune into hot press news, attend
various events and workshops to keep abreast as to what happening in my field. I
also pause throughout the day to be grateful for being able to fulfil my
chores. Similar to Oprah Winfrey, at the end of
the day, I list five daily affirmations I am grateful for in my gratitude
journal which I keep beside my bed. Even if it is a smile I share with someone
during the day.
What made you start
the business and how did you get started?
My
childhood was plagued with physical and mental abuse. I witnessed the horrific
scenes of my mother being beaten by the hands of my father countless times. I
also encountered an abusive
relationship which almost cost me my life and led to the tragic loss of my
second child and homelessness. I became infused with passion and determination about all forms of injustice and
violence against women and girls.
When
I was a child I made a promise to myself to help victims like my mother. Now here I am, ‘a silent voice for victims of
domestic abuse’, as a Survivor, a Leader, a Warrior, a Conqueress, a Goddess to
help women to help empower women to regain their unique sense of self-worth ,
courage and strength to break free of domestic abuse and build a new life for
themselves and children.
What would you say
has been your greatest accomplishment in the business world to date?
Being
an inspiration to others by sharing my life experiences and how I overcame many
adversities, including a turbulent childhood, cancer, domestic violence and
homelessness - particularly to those who have had similar experiences and are
out there in the dark to reassure them that they are never alone and to help
give them hope and courage to reap
the lessons learned in the darkness and walk into the light to become aware of
the multiple choices for a better life.
What has been your
biggest challenge in business so far?
Believing in yourself. I recently had a good reminder of how important it
is to believe in yourself. As I
was getting to the end of writing the book, I have recently completed, I started doubting whether or not I want to share
my personal life story globally. I was worrying about how I would be judged,
and how it would affect my family. Of course this stems from fear. But the
interesting thing is: shortly after these hysterical thoughts raced through my
mind, I regained my sanity. My passion and commitment to share my life
experiences to help and empower others was overpowering and not to be concealed.
What are your future
plans for the business?
Actually, before
I get into that, first of all... “Destiny is not a matter of
chance, but a matter of choice. It’s not something to
wish for, but through vision and action its something you attain, because
vision with action makes dreams and destiny a reality and changes the world.”
Well, since I have started locally, my vision is to grow globally with
the continuation of writing books, giving speeches and running workshops.
Eventually I intend to launch a holistic retreat for women to recover,
reinvent, redesign, rediscover, rewrite, reclaim, regain and reconnect with
their authentic self, self-worth, wholeness, passion and feminine strength
during and after traumatic experiences: abusive relationship, illnesses,
depression and bereavement.
If you had to do
it all over again, what would you do differently?
Life
is a mystifying journey. We are on a journey in everything we do. Nothing in
life is perfect, even though we may have spent many years mapping out our hopes
and dreams. Life doesn’t always turn out the way we plan. In spite of what we
think, we are not in control of our lives. The reality is that we can’t know
what will happen even one moment into the future or what our next thought would
be. This was certainly true in answering these questions. I hadn’t the
slightest clue how long each answer would be. Life is a lesson-ground we simply just have to
keep moving forward.
Why is it so
important to inspire young women in particular to follow their dreams?
What
is the fairytale myth we have fallen for? I think we’ve all felt this way at
one time or another. I know I did. Ah,
yes. Once upon a time the Cinderella myth was that little girls were
brainwashed, groomed, prepped, and primed that on becoming a woman she will
become a Princess and will meet a Prince Charming, her knight in shining
armour, who will come galloping on a white horse into her life. If the glass
slippers fits, he will scoop her up and carry her off and they will live happily ever after. Now, say, if she fell
off the horse. (Ouch!) It would be tough landing, especially when there was no one to pick
her up. The glass slippers shattered. Stranded and alone she have to pick herself up
and the broken pieces.
I think
girls should be told at an early age to let go of the fairytale myth, and that it’s okay to spend time on their own,
to get to know and take care of themselves and to fulfil their dreams, hopes
and aspirations. Oh!, one last thing. Get to know people really good before you
enter any sort of relationship with them.
What advice would you
give to somebody who wants to start a business in your industry?
Hmmm… let me think. Well, these five tips came to
mind:
Self-Inventory
– Regardless of your age, level of
education, intelligence, current income or situation, look back and revaluate your life with a critical
eye.
Everybody is unique and has a story in them. What were your dreams, hopes,
ambitions, true passions, burning desires? Write them all down and the reason
why you wish to do them. If you have more than five, reduce them to two.
Decisions
– What is restricting your choices?
Identify your priorities and be ready to sacrifice some of what is less
important. Make sure it will give you stimulating satisfaction and rewards and
greatly increase the chances of your successful choice.
Curiosity
–
Be like a spy. Research your target market. These days everything is publicised
on the internet and you can snoop on your competitors via their websites, blogs
and lots more. Do some networking, attend workshops and seminars. Though women
may live longer, you certainly do not want to waste time if someone is doing
something exactly what you wish to do.
Seek
Help – No
one expects you to know how to do everything. Get help from the right people
and resources; there are tons and tons of on-line webinars services and career
advices. Some are minimal in cost, and some are free.
Action Plan – You now know what you want to do and why. Make it a
dominant thought and it will come into existence. Pursue it. Set a plan as to
what you wish to achieve with approximate timings. Don’t be too hard on
yourself. Be flexible. Remember, though, that without action your dreams and
desires will remain right where they are: in your head.
What or who inspires
you in business and why?
I think I may have answered this question earlier as to how I started my
business,
but I will expand on it.
My
overriding memory is the moment my life miraculously began to change is a book I read a few years ago called Man Search for Reason by Viktor
Frankl, these words inspired me: ‘Everything can be taken from man but one thing: the
last of the human freedoms, the ability to choose one's attitude in any given
set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.’ And that’s not all. This book made me realise that in life we have a
series of choices. What we do with them is up to us. With the realisation that I had multiple CHOICIES, and was the only who could take ACTION
to make CHANGES to consciously reconstruct my life and connect with my true self, the core of who I
was born to be; to know why I am here and what I’ve come here to do.
My
burning desire: “To drag domestic abuse
more into the spotlight, as I am ferocious about any forms of violence and
injustice to women and girls. Not just for them to survive, but to strive and
thrive to a better life.”
What is your favourite
inspirational quote?
Gosh!
I have so many favourite quotes but not enough space to share them all with you,
so I am going to close my eyes, take a deep breath and whatever comes to the
forefront of my mind I will let it flow:
“Be
the change that we want to see in the world.” Mahatma Gahndi
Margaret V Aberdeen
Founder of Break Free from Domestic Violence™
E: margaretaberdeen@yahoo.com
www.margaretaberdeen.com
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